Sunday, July 11, 2010

learning to walk

i just found out that a believer-artist-friend and her family are moving away. we bumped into her husband on our way to her pottery booth on the square. and he announced the news. the second time this year i've heard such news.

i walked away and sobbed under a tree. the sausage man brought me a milk crate to sit on.

i cried for my sons, my husband, myself. we are all saying good-bye to loved friends.

it's baffling. i just don't know God. i know Him, but i don't Really Know Him. His will is clear, but so cryptic and strange. the trail of our wanderings looks so random sometimes. why did God bring me such wonderful friends, so close, so recently? and why are they so far away now? i have no complaints. but sometimes i have tears.

from what i can see, i'm coming up to one of those times when God removes His hand. it was there, and i was grasping it, and it was pulling me gently along, and now it's moving ahead. not far, not harsh, but not here. and if i'm to follow it, if i'm to catch hold of it again, i'm going to have to take a step on my own.

i'm not Home yet.

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