seeing light

if i sinned
long enough and hard enough
to deserve nothing
-- no light, no grace, no peace --
well, it would only take a second, really.

and if i realized it
tripped upon a star in the dark
fell into light of holiness
-- revealing, stabbing, terrifying --
well, i would try to run for cover.

but if a hand
were to reach out from that star
shield my eyes graciously
-- the warmth, the scent, the almost-touch --
well, that would awaken me to love.

and i would stay
there on the edge of light and shadow
so dirty-ashamed, so peace-thirsting
-- calling, glancing, faltering --
well, just hoping against hope for the light to take me

to make me
light

and if i
were to learn that the light
had once become darkness-cursed for me
-- uncomprehended, reviled, soul-scourged --
well, that would rock me to the core.

and if only
i could believe hard enough
to accept the gift freely offered
-- light, grace, peace --
well, that would change me, wouldn't it?

make me
light


"Transgression speaks to the wicked deep in his heart;
there is no fear of God before his eyes.
For he flatters himself in his own eyes
that his iniquity cannot be found out and hated.
The words of his mouth are trouble and deceit;
he has ceased to act wisely and do good.
He plots trouble while on his bed;
he sets himself in a way that is not good;
he does not reject evil.

"Your steadfast love, O Lord, extends to the heavens,
Your faithfulness to the clouds.
Your righteousness is like the mountains of God;
Your judgments are like the great deep;
man and beast You save, O Lord.

"How precious is Your steadfast love, O God!
The children of mankind take refuge in the shadow of Your wings.
They feast on the abundance of Your house,
and You give them drink from the river of Your delights.
For with You is the fountain of life;
in Your light do we see light.

"Oh, continue Your steadfast love to those who know You,
and Your righteousness to the upright of heart!
Let not the foot of arrogance come upon me,
nor the hand of the wicked drive me away.
There the evildoers lie fallen;
they are thrust down, unable to rise."

- Psalm 36