fade to black

from my bedroom window tonight

the picture changes little --

leaves hanging in a blue-gray heat-sky

that fades to black.

this weary mother's heart sighs;

tries again to un-furrow brow --

but every footstep in the night, every cry

tests what i am made of...

fade to black.

cut to the chase:

this heart so deep, so dry, so destitute --

i only want... I Only Want!

to bear a child is to sacrifice self.

cut that umbilical cord, and a woman dies.

i cry, "i never knew, i never knew..."

here in the dark, i see it's true.

yet i am more alive now than ever before.

three sons bear my names, my face.

all they know is all i've shown...

oh, God!!

set my footsteps. soothe my brow.

pull me from this bed of angst

and turn fear into holiness;

holiness into love...

as i fade to black.


come alive.