Wednesday, November 10, 2010

my love song

i remember me,
twenty-six years ago,
so assured of Love.
on the top bunk singing and making sure
that my song was heard in Heaven.

"Jesus loves me, this i know..."

i never had alcoholic parents,
but my dad did,
and the pain drew him to girls,
and to drugs, and pride,
before it spit him out in humility at the Throne.

"for the Bible tells me so..."

and the King has been prying at the fingers
that clutched bloodied rags --
my dad's childhood attempts to wipe up the pain
that foamed up into apathy,
that rooted into bitterness.

"little ones to Him belong..."

we spent a generation,
me and my dad,
feeling hurt and keeping silence
and trying but not understanding,
yet sharing a Love so deep and so true.

"we are weak, but He is strong..."

when my dad let go --
placed my hand inside my husband's --
he started to breathe a little more freely,
and to bless our Father for grace,
and to become my friend.

"yes, Jesus loves me..."

and i, too, am reeling at this grace
that sends my own children
running back into my arms
after i've been harsh --
my dad understands this.

"yes, Jesus loves me..."

and as i grow, i am shocked by the freedom
that whirls good gifts --
food, drink, sexuality, song --
in a dance around me,
a child loved by the Father of lights.

"yes, Jesus loves me..."

and i am rocked by the responsibility
of using these gifts to love well,
of learning my Father's character --
for He is free, and in His hands,
every gift is a tool of love.

"the Bible tells me so."

and i hope that everyone --
from my dad, who makes me laugh,
to my hurting friends, earth-wrung-out,
to my children, whom i tuck into bed with this song --
will hear me singing.

we're all singing at http://canvaschild.blogspot.com/

11 comments:

  1. goosebumps! Thank you for this Bethany.

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  2. "and i, too, am reeling at this grace
    that sends my own children
    running back into my arms
    after i've been harsh --
    my dad understands this."

    Isn't it great when we are on the other side of a thing and see a new perspective? And yes, he understands.....

    what a lovely tribute to him and to HIM!

    Blessings,
    Kara

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  3. this is a lovely, lovely, lovely post. such heart and truth and beauty. earth-wrung-out, i love this expression. i have had a notsogreat earthly father and am a bit wrung out some days.... but his simplest of songs, i love how you see such great truths here and share them so eloquently. beautiful, bethany ann.

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  4. there is so much beauty here...i have been blessed with that friendship with my mother now. releasing me to my husband changed so much in our relationship and now we know that grace of grace.

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  5. oh, bethany... there is such spirit wrapped in these words, i shivered at the end... and how you wove a simple children's song (which states the most profound of truths) in amongst the adult-worries and ways... and how it all ended up at the cross... i'm singing with you. i can't wait to stand side by side in heaven, and watch our children dance before the throne. xo

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  6. Another tear-eyed reader here . . . I understand and can relate . . . and am thankful for wounds that are continually being healed. THANK YOU for sharing. I will see "Jesus Loves Me" in a new way.

    It's my first time visiting you & joining in Imperfect Prose.

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  7. You have a beautiful voice in every way Bethany...i love this beautiful song of your heart! :-)

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  8. Beautiful. I am humbled by God's grace and how He makes all things new. You wrote this so well.

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  9. These words gave me chills. I absolutely love them. And understand them. And appreciate them and you for putting them on the page.

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  10. Ohhhh, I am sure I've shared tears with many as this is read. I know . . . I understand . . . And I will think of Jesus Loves Me in a new, beautiful way. I think of how the process of shinning us like gold hurts . . . and your gold is shinning brilliantly. Thank you for sharing.

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