bathtub reverie

little boy,
lisping tongue and fingernails bitten under mess of blond,
i love you.

tiny joy,
soft and sleepy and heavy with sickness,
i'll care for you.

rub shampoo into your hair,
lift your face to the air,
let soap bubbles carry away.

i find it hard to be so still,
but when you need me like this, fall apart like that,
you remind me...

...of faith,
naked-flung along my arm,
slipping quietly into sleep.

...of love,
eyes closed and seeing, fingers softly holding
the places where i find myself.

...of duty,
and of beauty,
these moments i spend myself upon

against the water,
against time
-- i know not how long --

holding on,
holding you close,
holding you up.